N.J.’s toughest coaches have to soften their approach. But is it a good thing?

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The pack of toned, fidgety boys gathered every March 1 at Mountain Lakes High School in Morris County, prepared to be pushed to their physical and mental limits. But before they could cradle a ball, loft a pass, or finish a single drill, the teenagers first had to prove they had the fortitude to earn a spot on the school’s famed, high-octane lacrosse team. It meant finishing a five-mile run in brisk time — or faster than the best time their avid runner and head coach, Tim Flynn, had ran five miles that year. The annual, start-of-season test became a grueling rite of passage in Mountain Lakes —…

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